5 Steps to Creating Your Unfair Advantage

One month ago, I had the honor of attending Unfair Advantage Live, in NYC, hosted by Chris Winfield and Jen Gottlieb. 

Darren’s Unfair Advantage LIVE Takeaways

The experience was filled with incredible people, connections, experiences and a whole bunch of leveling up, while leaning into massive discomfort.  Guests included the brilliant minds of Good Life Project host Jonathan Fields and Brain Coach, Jim Kwik. So many lessons resonated in how to find our own Unfair Advantage, but here are 5 that really stood out for me. I believe these were the most applicable to wherever you are at in your life or career.   

1. Get Comfortable Being UNCOMFORTABLE

Growth does not take place in the comfort zone. Is there anything that you can do this week, that will break your comfort zone in any part of your life, just a little? 

Perhaps it is as simple as turning your shower to cold for the last five seconds today, and then realizing you can warm right up after you get out. Perhaps it is trying something different on the menu at your favorite restaurant. 

2. Make the Human Connection

Ironically, you are likely reading this on a device, but making real human connections, in person, over a real life conversation is becoming a lost art form.  Showing up in person is 80% of the advantage…at least! If that makes you uncomfortable (FYI…those I can’t statements are a mask for being uncomfortable) for whatever reasons…please see lesson 1.

Is there one person that you can make a human connection with this week who is not currently on your radar?  Perhaps it is someone you know, or perhaps it is the fellow sitting next to you on that flight? (yes I wrote this while I was flying…I thought about talking to the guy next to me, but he fell asleep once I pulled my laptop out.) 

3. Find the Dots

They always connect looking backwards, even though we can rarely connect them looking forwards.  Collecting the dots while in the pursuit of excellence is a sure fire way to actually connect the dots…even though we may not realize what is happening at the time.  If this makes us uncomfortable, see Lesson 1 (you may be ready to push me into a cold shower at this point).

What dots can you see right now?  What are the dots that may be there right in front of you that you just have to pause and take a moment to look for?  There are far more there than we often see at first pass.

4. Embrace the Process

The process will often have points that don’t go our way.  It will likely have many stages of messes that lead to our successes.  Embrace that…even when it makes us uncomfortable. The habits above create transformation one dot, one connection, and one shift at a time.  The process becomes the reality that creates that advantage. If you pull on the tomato plant immediately after it breaks ground as a seedling…it still will not grow the tomato any faster. 

  • Is FEAR holding you back?  How can you feel that and do it anyway?  Can the messes become successes? 
  • FEAR stands for: Face Everything And Rise    

5. Celebrate the Wins Weekly (at least)

We often get one thing completed and move right on to the next item on our list.  I am and have been as guilty of this as anyone.

As Oprah Winfrey says:

“The more you praise and celebrate your life, the more there is in life to celebrate.” 

As Joseph McClendon reminds us: we are what we focus on.

How can we possibly get to excellence, if we only look at or failures?  How can we possibly create wins, when we don’t give them the light of day?  What is one win that you have had personally this week and for your team…what is one win that they have had?  Want to take it further? What is one win you WILL have next week?       


How do you create advantages in your life? 

Which of these most resonate with you?

When you are ready to create the 
workplace culture that you envisioned, where people are engaged, valued for being valuable and play to their Strengths, 34 Strong will be here to help you make that a reality.

Darren Virassammy is the Co-Founder and COO/CFO of 34 Strong Inc. Darren’s top five strengths are: Achiever, Arranger, Relator, Learner and Responsibility.